Seizing Opportunities
by SIR JAZZ
Summary: And now she’s stretching. Oh shi— SasuHina AU Oneshot ridiculously OOC


**Disclaimer: I do not own any rights to Naruto or any other characters/places mentioned under the series, nor am I making any profit in the writing of this story.**

My name is Uchiha Sasuke, and I am not a pervert. I just happen to be at the right place, at the right time, with the right attitude. (TAKE IT OFF!)

I am a freshman at the University of Konoha, proud member of the campus-wide honors program and soon-to-be sports chair for Sigma Pi, Eta Upsilon chapter.

As a first-year, I live in a dorm. It's a little loud and rambunctious for my tastes, but I've learned to adjust. The bathrooms get pretty disgusting, though it's nothing I can't handle. My roommate's name is Uzumaki Naruto. I have to admit most of the people I met, I knew through him, even if he's a complete slob and attention-whore. And he's out of the room most of the time, so I can't complain about him constantly being there.

Let me give you a basic idea of what a dorm is structured like.

Our residence hall is one of the oldest in our student housing quadrant. It's very small, since it's only two stories high and has about fifty members, including our resident advisor, Rock Lee. The dorm has one big common room downstairs and one more upstairs, complete with a functional kitchen, pool table, foosball table, and board games galore.

Despite the fact that there are both guys and girls living in our hall, the different genders are broken up into what we call suites—a set of about five rooms with an average of ten persons, with one bathroom with two stalls and two showers. There are two girls' suites upstairs, one downstairs, and two guys' suites downstairs, with just one upstairs. I live upstairs. It's got a nice view, though lugging a TV upstairs on move-in day was quite a hassle.

Since our dorm is so small, it gives all the residents a better opportunity to get to know each other, a benefit that larger halls don't have. We all know each other pretty well, say hi to when we pass by each other on the way to class, add each other on Facebook, etc. As the year progresses, groups resembling cliques have the tendency to form, but we're all still one big family.

To be honest with you, we have a _ton_ of hot chicks living in our hall, but I've never really shown partiality to any of them. Most of the guys think that Haruno Sakura and Yamanaka Ino are the hottest chicks; I completely disagree. Sakura's roommate Hyuuga Hinata—now THAT is a bombshell babe.

She's really shy and wears really unflattering, baggy jackets that go past her thighs. Eventually I heard rumors that she was hiding a killer bod behind that frumpy apparel, and I decided to see it for myself. I invited her to come to a Sigma Pi PA party I was hosting, and I was a little ticked to see that she showed up in exactly what she normally wore, that damn purple jacket with fucking Eskimo padding. So much for that.

I was up studying during finals week in fall quarter, and had gone to the common room to brew some coffee. At the table, I saw Hinata studying, hair up in a messy ponytail, chewing on a pencil. There was an unfinished slice of tiramisu next to her books, which I had assumed was a midnight snack.

"Hey," I said softly, not wanting to startle her.

She looked up and blushed. "H-hi, Sasuke." She knows my name! SCORE.

"Studying?" I asked, sitting down across from her.

"Yeah," she replied, holding up her textbook. "Some last minute, uh, cramming for my bo—botany class."

I nodded. "Sounds good. Want some coffee with that?" I asked, pointing to the dessert.

"Oh, n-no thanks. I'm fine." Oh, _yes_ _you are_.

I heard the telltale sound of brewing coffee by the grumbling noise it was making and rose to grab my mug. "Alright then. I'll see you around."

"O-of course."

-

Later on in the year, sometime during winter quarter, Naruto and fellow suitemate Kiba got themselves in a little prank war with one of the girls' suites upstairs. I personally think they were trying to flirt with Sakura, Ino, and the others, but they adamantly deny it. During midterms, they strapped party poppers to the girls' doors, so that when they opened it, it would trigger the fireworks and set them off. I remember hearing Ino's scream from across the hall at 6 AM in the morning. And of course, Sakura freaked out and rushed to open her door, which set her poppers off, and scared the shit out of her too. It was an odd morning.

Needless to say, the girls were ready to get us back. They stuck condoms on our shower heads in the middle of the night and filled them up till the touched the shower floor. Naruto went in to take a shower, and turned on the water and didn't notice the water wasn't actually running (sleepy idiot). He just stood there for a good minute before the condom popped and flooded the whole bathroom. Our suite smelled like soggy carpet for a whole week before the stench finally went away.

We decided to get them back—we, as in Naruto, Kiba, Choji, and I. Shikamaru said it was too troublesome, and Shino said it was just a waste of time. We planned to throw ice cream and cupcakes and sprinkles at their window in the middle of the night, hoping to draw swarms of ants by morning, since girls hate bugs, right? Choji would drive Kiba and Naruto to Albertson's, while I stayed on lookout behind to bushes to make sure all the girls were already asleep.

Three of the five rooms already had their lights out, and I could see shadows moving around in the dimly lit fourth room before the lights were switched off. All that was left was Sakura and Hinata's room, a room that I definitely didn't mind spying on. Sakura was at her desk, probably studying for some upcoming quizzes, but I didn't see Hinata anywhere.

THEN OUT OF COMPLETELY NOWHERE—

Hyuuga Hinata waltzes in the room with a—surprise, surprise—purple towel, and starts taking it off—

WAIT. TAKING IT OFF?!

And she drops it on her bed and HOLY SHIT LOOK AT THAT RACK.

WITH THOSE CURVES.

HER ITSY-BITSY WAIST

THAT SEXY DIP RIGHT PAST HER HIPS AND—

Damn windowsill is blocking the rest of the view. But Jesus Christ, what a view indeed!

And now she's stretching. Oh shi—

-

"Sasuke. SASUKE!!"

"Hn," groaned Sasuke, sitting up. Naruto, Kiba, and Choji were all giving him weird looks. "What happened?"

"We told you to keep watch, and you fell asleep, dumbass!" reprimanded Kiba. "You obviously can't watch if your eyes are closed!"

Sasuke glared at him. "Shut the fuck up. What the hell took you guys so long?"

"We couldn't find a supermarket that still had fresh cupcakes," informed Choji. "We had to go to one of those late-night bakeries."

Naruto held up the bag with a cheeky grin.

Sasuke raised an eyebrow. "You're planning to chuck tiramisu and cheesecakes at their window?"

"Yup!" yelled a triumphant Naruto.

"Whatever, let's just get this over with," he conceded, standing up and brushing his pants off.

Kiba whistled. "Whoa dude, pitching a tent in the middle of the night? Impressive."

"Thanks for noticing, faggot. We all know you're in the closet. Eyes up here," growled Sasuke. He trudged towards the lawn facing the windows. "Hurry up, before the sprinklers turn on or something."

All of a sudden, the light in Sakura and Hinata's room turned on. In entered a purple towel-clad Hinata.

"Oi, check it out," whispered Kiba. "Hinata just came out of the shower."

The four adolescent boys watched in wonder as innocent Hinata dropped her towel and bent down to sift through the drawers of her dresser to retrieve undergarments, giving them a magnificent, unadulterated view of her ass.

"Oh my God," whimpered Naruto, blood spurting out of his nose. Choji paled and dropped his jaw.

"T-that can't be Hin—Hina…" Kiba fainted, a dazed and happy look on his face.

Only Sasuke smirked, re-pitching his happy tent. The view was even better than in his dream! He grabbed the forgotten tiramisu and raced back into the hall, eager to share it with the buxom beauty while the others were still awestruck.

"Hinata," called Sasuke, knocking on her door. "Are you in there?"

A bit of shuffling. "O-oh, just one moment." More shuffling. A crash.

The door swung open, with a red-faced Hinata on the other side. She wore a busty white tank top with a black bra (oh, now that's just asking for trouble) and silk red pajama pants. "Sa—Sasuke?"

He grinned and held up the bag of goodies. "Hungry? I heard you like tiramisu."

-

**AN**: Reference to Captain Kirk's interview in the latest edition of Cosmo. Yes, I too would like to know the 150 different ways to have the best sex of my life.

Basing a lot of this on my experience as a freshman at my university. Not the peeping Tom part, the practical stuff!

I will update my other story… in due time.


End file.
